25 Beer Bellies Every Dad Should Aspire To

11 Aug

“It’s not a beer belly. It’s a fuel tank to a well oiled love machine.”

Some day, I’m going to be able to use that ad nauseum whenever someone makes a joke at the expense of my massive gut. I don’t have a gut yet, but just as I aspire to drop that line, I wish and train for a massive belt buster. I know it’s terrible for my health and could lead to a myriad of health issues in my later years, but frankly I don’t give a good cran-apple. From the age of 21 to about 29 I worked out every day, counted calories and said NO to too many delicious treats because I was just a little obsessed about my appearance. I now live in the land of “I don’t give turd”. Bring on the Dunkin munchkins!

To get some inspiration, I searched the web for the quintessential beer belly. The kind that take years of beers and no sweat or tears. I think I’ve amassed quite a collection of potential candidates for Greatest Gut Ever. Feast your eyes while I feast my face. You know what tastes good on top of cheesecake? Another cheesecake.


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22 Responses to “25 Beer Bellies Every Dad Should Aspire To”

  1. kirbeegee August 16, 2010 at 5:28 am #

    Actually, one of these `beer bellys` is a parasitic twin, and I don`t know many fathers who would aspire to have as such.

  2. Chris August 16, 2010 at 5:37 am #

    Just lost my appetite!

  3. Hairold August 16, 2010 at 6:19 am #

    A REAL man is hard to find! = http://bit.ly/14GFZq

  4. Jo Dean August 16, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    OK that makes a lot of sense dude.


  5. Chris August 16, 2010 at 10:07 am #

    Love the guy with the cutout overalls. Hahaha! http://bit.ly/aaGLf8

  6. Mr.Lahey August 16, 2010 at 4:54 pm #

    This collection needs more Randy from Trailer Park Boys

    • nOOb Dad August 16, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

      I might have to amend it to take your suggestion

  7. Sam August 17, 2010 at 1:54 am #

    Well congratulations, a description finally made me gag out loud.

  8. Talktome August 17, 2010 at 1:55 am #

    Drink Alcohol, its your only choice.


    the drug warriors

  9. Victor August 17, 2010 at 1:56 am #

    I hate the comment “meh,” the whole purpose of saying meh is because it’s not worth making a comment, therefore saying meh validates the unworthy content in the first plac-… (internet broken, please try back later)

    • nOOb Dad August 17, 2010 at 5:43 am #

      My favorite comment thus far

  10. Ella August 21, 2010 at 3:50 am #

    Dusty Rhodes being on the list would have made so much more sense if his control top belt of steel was undone so you saw muffin top instead of Moobie. As it is, it’s helping him suck it in like Girdle.

    • nOOb Dad August 21, 2010 at 10:02 am #

      That is the sexiest thing a woman has ever said

  11. cammen October 25, 2010 at 3:03 pm #

    Who is editing the comments?

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