I’m making a prediction, while not bold, it’s an odd call that eventually will come to fruition. Perhaps not our children, but their children, will be wrapped in bubble wrap from the first moment on Earth and will not be allowed to move, eat, talk or live any type of life. The wrap will be removed at the age of eighteen so long as the child promises to be afraid for the rest of their lives.
I’m only saying it because of the stupidity being displayed in places like West Virginia (usually the sharpest of crayons in that region) and an elementary school’s decision to remove playground equipment because of lawsuits.
Safety issues and the threat of lawsuits have one school system removing some equipment that’s been a playtime staple for generations. Swing sets are being removed from playgrounds of Cabell County Schools, along with some other playground equipment. Tim Stewart, safety manager for Cabell County Schools, says after some injuries led to lawsuits and settlements, it was decided to eliminate the hazards.
The school isn’t completely to blame. It had no choice but to remove the “dangerous equipment” after lawsuits for reasons like… “We’ve had two lawsuits in the last year where it involved a student jumping out of a swing and then once a student actually let go and flew out backwards.”
Dumb kids. I hate dumb kids. They ruin it for everyone. They are the ones jamming Nerf darts up their nose and swallowing nickels. Lawsuits like those need a panel of parents acting as judge and jury.
“Your child jumped out of the swing? Oh, he is moron. Judging by the looks of you and your Tweety Bird t-shirt I’m going to say it’s a heredity thing. No case. Next! Boy hooks his nipples up to car battery in shop class? Don’t even let him in the room. Next!”
Coming soon to a playground near you, the hot new game of “standing”.