Studies Show You’ve Been An A**hole Since 1st Grade

This is my gift; I can spot an a**hole a mile away. My ability is such that I wrote a book about it. They don’t let just anyone write a book. Holy farts Tyra Banks is writing a book? Fine, they let anyone write a book. I bet her book will have a hundred pictures and they will all be of her. Jesus I’ve gotta stop watching daytime TV. Except Cheaters because that show is funnier than a fart in church confessional.

Wait. Oh. Right. A**holes. So I can spot an asshole and I’m especially good at picking out kids that will eventually become a real fart-sizzling tool by the time he reaches adulthood. I’ve see at least one or two kids every day in while wandering around the mall that I just know will make people miserable in years to come.

Turns out a new study proves my gift to be intelligenty. Or something.

Personality traits like talkativeness and adaptability stay constant from early childhood until the elder years, according to a study reported on And the traits kids exhibit while young are a compelling predictor of the behavior they’ll exhibit as adults.

More proof this is the real deal. Talkativeness. As a kid I never shut the funk up. Look at me now! Annoying and never shutting up in spoken and written word.

Bad news for parents of little pricks. There is no hope.

So does that mean personality traits are set in stone? It’s hard to change because personality is “a part of us, a part of our biology,” Nave told

Well, there is always hope for your other kids. Oh is that your daughter? She is adorable. Is she chewing on gravel?


Well your dog looks mildly bright.

Personality set for life by first grade, says new study [NY Daily News]

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One Response

  1. Pablo August 12, 2010