Potty Training is Crappy

How to potty train your childEvery parent will go through this process at one time or another.  The moment you decide your child is no longer a baby and has reached  a point where changing diapers is becoming more of a challenge than it was ever meant to be.  That moment where you can’t wait to just flush a toilet and move on with your day.  That’s right – POTTY TRAINING!

Now there are books, manuals, cheat sheets, and an endless parade of advice from friends and families.  You know what all of that amounts to in he long run?  About the same stuff you hope to flush down the toilet every day.  Lets’ count the ways we have tried to get our son to do his business on the new plastic thrown we purchased for him.  There has been the just put him in underwear and he will figure it out, the naked baby process, the pull-up, the sit down every 30 minutes and wait, the let him control the process, and the bribery game.  In the end it has been like having a puppy you are trying to house break running around our apartment.

The underwear theory states that you put them in big boy underwear and if they go they will feel the wetness against their skin and just know they are supposed to go use the toilet when they feel the urge.  Problem with that is when he is playing with trains he would sit in his own filth for days if we didn’t stop him.  So hand washing underwear several times a day was not a method my wife was enjoying while i was out at work all day.  Oh the naked baby process is one that is sworn to work by some and treated as taboo by others.  Well we have done this method also and he is fine when it comes to going to the potty.  he will run over, sit down, do his business, and smile from ear to ear at the wondrous creations he makes.  The big issue of course is my son finds his little man to be his newest play thing and a bottomless baby crawling all over everything is not really the best thing for company.

Ah yes we purchased pull-up training pants in hopes of getting him used to the idea of underwear.  This have been fine in the sense that we don’t have a little naked child sprinting around all day. He sometimes tells us when he has to go to the potty, but more of our day is spent asking him if he has to go than we would like.  My wife has even gotten so used to asking that we went out to dinner and she asked me three times if I needed to go.  The sit him down twice an hour and he will figure it out method was a disaster.  Mainly because our child has the ability to stand up and run away from the toilet.  So unless we tied his ass down he wasn’t going to pop a squat and push for no damn reason.  If you can get your kid to sit down twice an hour for no reason give it a shot.

The bribery game is critical in my opinion.  If he goes to the bathroom he gets a reward. he associates using the bathroom with a prize.  We thought we were so smart with this since he loves cars and trains.  Problem is my wife is a little over aggressive with rewarding him.  Within the first two days 15 cars had been given away.  If he flushes a toilet with nothing in it he runs in asking for new cars . At this rate it is going to cost my tens of thousands of dollars to get this kid to use a toilet.   I can see him turning 16, hitting the head, coming out, and asking me for a new Corvette.

Personally, we are going to let nature take its course.  We are going to keep trying methods and tips with the hope that one day soon it will just click and he will put everything together.  In the mean time  I can give you some very solid suggestions.  When it comes to selecting a potty to use avoid anything that is more than two pieces.  We had a nice Cars styled potty that would make cool noises and everything.  Big issue was that there was no solid seal so if he sat down, took a piss, and wasn’t perfectly accurate ,you ended up with a very wet floor and a lot of cleanup.  The Baby Bjorn potty picture above is by far the best one on the market.  Easy clean up, comfortable, nice style, and several colors to choose from.  Don’t get stressed – this i snot an easy process, but every person had to go through it and there aren’t many kids in high school still in a diaper.  Don’t yell at your kid when they are slow to get this tot have a setback.  It will just make the process harder and probably scare your kid.  In the end just think of this as another wonderful event that once complete you will never have to do again – unless of course you have another kid and by that time you can just have your oldest kid take care of everything.

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