Amazon.com Wants Me To Torture My Kid

18 Aug

Amazon.com is easily my favorite website for shopping, gifting and random searching for ridiculous blog ideas. Since I’m such a loyal browser and buyer they send me daily emails of suggested products based on things I’ve purchased in the past. Need some pants for that shirt? You bought that Batman movie but have you seen these new Batman figures? Need some petroleum jelly to go with those…eh, nevermind you get the gist.

This morning, Amazon sent me an email titled Kazaam. This could mean one of two things; they’ve either figured out a way to magically get people to buy things via email black magic/mind control or they are pushing the movie Kazaam with the Oscar-snubbed Shaquille O’Neill. Either would be pretty f’n scary.

It’s number 2. Not the bodily function, but close. Here are the movies Amazon is suggesting for my kid.

Wow. They must think I hate my child. I wouldn’t wish those movies on a prisoner of war. Shaq, Kirstie Alley and Sinbad. Sounds like the next cast on Celebrity Fit Club.

I’d maybe consider the Kid in King Arthur’s Court.

Holy turds. The mind control is working.

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3 Responses to “Amazon.com Wants Me To Torture My Kid”

  1. lb August 18, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    Sinbad is great. Haven’t you ever seen Houseguest?? Talk about Oscar-snubbed.

    • nOOb Dad August 18, 2010 at 11:27 am #

      Houseguest is a much different suggestion. He will watch that once a week until he is 32.

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