5 Practical Books for Guys

22 Feb

Johannes Gutenberg is credited with inventing the printing press and spreading learning to the masses. It’s common knowledge that Gutenberg wanted the Holy Bible to be in the hands of the common man thus his printing press, but what you may not have known is that the dude really just wanted more bathroom reading material. Since the mid-1400′s there has been hundreds of thousands of books printed, yet none of them can come close to the importance of these five:

Assholeology

What does every guy want in life? Success, Money, Power, and Sex. Chris Illuminati (ok so I’m a little partial) teaches you how to get what you want out of life. Think about it, every guy you think is awesome is the same guy she wants to show off to her friends – and he’s an asshole. It’s about time you got serious about taking what you want in life instead of playing doormat. If this book had been out ten years ago, I’m sure I’d be making more money and driving a nicer car by now. Grab the sequel to know how to handle yourself in every situation. You can thank me in the comments section below.

Click

You’ve no doubt been told that you are what you eat, but have you ever thought that you are what you click? From porn to prom dresses to politics, the content of our search queries reveals much about our private thoughts that we would not reveal to loved ones, friends, or a stranger taking a survey. This book illustrates what we’re afraid of, don’t know how to do, and who we’re going to elect President.  Essentially, it explains what millions of people are doing online and why it matters.

Hold On To Your N.U.T.s

Despite what pops may have said when you were growing up, men should read directions, stop to ask for help, and occasionally read the manual.  This book is a tad on the touchy-feely side but rest assured it’s worth the read. When you’ve completed the book, you’ll become a better man after learning the truth about yourself, your relationships, and responsibilities as men. Pat Benatar and Jordan Sparks (whichever generation you’re from) both sang of love being a battlefield. I’m here to tell you that after reading this you won’t ever have to go to war with her again.

Maxims of Manhood

If you were going to die soon and leave behind a young son to grow up without a dad you had best make sure he turns out OK without you to guide him through his adolescence. Want to die in peace? Have him read Maxims of Manhood in his teen years and he’ll turn out much better than you did (Not sure what in the hell you did to die so young). In the fast-paced, technology driven world we live in, you and your son would be wise to make sure you know the rules of the game if you don’t want to foul out. Although I can’t condone or endorse all 100 maxims, I can attest that Jeff Wilser’s book is a handy guide to get through life without looking like a tool.

She Comes First

I don’t think this needs much explanation so I’ll forgo the synopsis. Let me instead tell you why every guy should read this book. Do you love your woman? Of course you do, that’s why you hate the idea that someone in her past may have been better in the sack than you are. If you want to erase her memories of previous guys or daydreams of Mc. Dreamy then I suggest you study this book and practice what it teaches. Think of HBO’s ‘Real Sex’ but in book form. Bonus: it has illustrations to enhance your reading experience.

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