Every man desires to please his woman, whether it’s an occasion that’s been tediously planned for weeks or a spur of the moment ‘she wants it now’ kinda thing. You should never be caught off guard nor should you ever not have the right tools to give her what she craves. This handy little guide is one you should print out and take with you the next time you head to the mall. All of the following items will not only help you get the job done right and leave her smiling, it’ll give her the impression you might actually know what you’re doing – and possibly even be good at it.
13-Pc Set Contour Stainless Cookware – Cuisinart
(Laughing) What did you think I was talking about? Cookware is what makes or breaks a kitchen. I’m not here to hurt anyone’s feelings, but that kitchen set you got for a wedding gift needs to scrapped ASAP. One of the most well-known and highly respected companies, Cuisinart, offers the most practical set of pots and pans around for a great price. Once she sets her eyes on this sexy cookware set, she’s sure to know that you have good taste and something shiny.
The Contour set is superior to everything you’ve used before; even heating, no aftertaste, no chipping Teflon, no warping or hot spots. Not only is it better, it has everything you really need to get started: 8″ Skillet, 10″ Skillet, 1.5 Qt. Saucepan with cover, 2.5 Qt. Saucepan with cover, 3 Qt. Sauté Pan with cover & helper handle, 4 Qt. Dutch Oven with cover, 8 Qt. Stockpot with cover, and a Steamer Insert (fits 8 Qt. Stockpot) – think healthy, colorful vegetables.
When cooking that great piece of meat you need to get a good sear on it before placing it in the oven – try doing that with your current pan. On second thought, please don’t. Be sure to follow the instructions (yes, you read that right) to an easy cleanup.
Joe Nichols sang about the universal truth that ‘Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off’, but when’s the last time you saw your wife double fisting Jose Cuervo? She picks her poison in the form of a Tequila Sunrise or a Matador. This kick-ass blender Hulks out and crushes ice on command – just the way she likes it. Still not convinced? The 40 oz. jar holds more than enough to get your evening buzzing or enough to help your buddy get over an ex.
Some nights get out of hand so your vision might be impaired after a while. Not to worry, Cuisinart thought of that and gave you easy to read/easy to clean 7-speed touchpad controls with indicator lights. From now on when your babydoll wants to get her drink on you be her bartender. Let her know drinks are on the house as long as she tips well at the end of the night.
Don’t let the name fool ya – the only thing small about this is the space it takes up on your counter and the hole it’ll leave in your wallet. It can be used three different ways to prepare a variety of favorites – steaks on the open grill, crisp-grilled sandwiches with the panini press, or burgers cooked to perfection, both sides at once, with the contact grill. Your woman will be amazed that you even know what a pa-ni-ni is let alone how to make one. With New Year Resolution’s in the rear view mirror, she’ll appreciate your ability to grill some apples sweetened with cinnamon sugar – a healthy alternative to a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Owning a Griddler Jr. is the equivalent to having a multi-tool in the garage – the sheer versatility of said item will always leave you happy you had it.
Head on over to ThinkGeek and you’re sure to find more than a few quirky yet functional items. Near the top of that list is the shot glasses made of ice – or whatever your demented little mind can think of. What I’m about to say may cause extreme distress and anxiety for some of you – you’ve been warned. Stop thinking about alcohol for a minute and think of a romantic night in… you’ve blended her favorite cocktail, used your awesome pans to cook up the perfect steak, grilled a handful of fresh asparagus and now it’s time for dessert.
While she’s dropping the kids off at the Grandparents, you’ll fill the molds with melted chocolate making chocolate shot glasses which you’ll later fill with a Frappe and top with whipped cream. After seeing how much effort you put into her fine dining experience topped off by an exquisite sweet treat, she’ll be willing to reward your labor of love.
You’ve probably seen this on the internet a few times, but did you know that you can own it? To be honest, it’s more of an art piece or conversation starter than it is a knife set that a Michelin Star chef would use. As soon as she see this unusual upgrade from the old wood block she’ll either appreciate your sense of humor and laugh or run away screaming. All five knives are included and secured with magnets which is good ’cause I imagine it’d be hard to play Uncharted missing a few digits.
The image caption pretty much sums it up. Do you want her to see you crying like a ‘B’? Didn’t think so. Man up bro and slide on a nifty pair of onion goggles. I’ve tried these several times and to my surprise they actually work. If I’m lying, I’m crying… and I ain’t shed a tear.
OK, ya got me – no woman has ever been satisfied by anything Star Trek related. In my defense though, some of you nerds may actually be dating a nerd chick. Ah who am I kidding? You’re still single and you live in your mom’s basement. C’mon, you had to see that one coming. Alright, now that I got that out of my system let me drop some knowledge on you.
You can tell if a girl’s worth keeping around by answering one question. Does she like pizza? If she does, great. If not, run, run as fast as you possibly can. Man and his better half are hardwired to like pizza. Anything that contradicts that should be burned with fire. Pizza has been your friend since grade school, now show some respect and cut it in style. You’ll need a sharp pizza cutter to slice the pie come dinner time and the Enterprise’s stainless steel blade is just what the Captain ordered.